I have received a surprising amount of positive feedback about my little blog. I honestly didn’t start blogging again with hopes that anyone would read, or even care, about what I sat down and typed. I was just so fed up and frustrated with all of my own thoughts that I needed an outlet that would help me gain a sense of organization. In the past I had always been an avid blogger, and it always did help to add a glint of clarity to my otherwise chaotic life.
All that aside, I received an amazing Facebook message from a friend, regarding my blog, that just opened my eyes and completely made my day. I obviously won’t just copy and paste it onto my blog for the entire interwebs to read, but the general point of the message was that she could relate.
Her message got me thinking about why I really started blogging again, and it felt great to know that there was at least one other person who could relate to my own awkward, little existence. It isn’t just me that is made up of a million different sides and personas, and has 5,000 items on her to-do list on any given day… half of which are lofty dreams and aspirations that seem so close, but are just SO hard to attain. And I’m not the only woman who isn’t boxed into some old-fashioned and cliché social group.
My response to her initial message really lays out what I, and this blog, am all about…
I feel like there are tons of bloggers out there who are geared towards moms, homemakers, workaholics, artists, etc… but none for the little niche that I’m in. I can’t relate to the moms who stay home, raise children and do homemaker stuff, or to the NYC ladies who work all day and then hit the posh bars and clubs at night. I want to do my crafts, cooking and wifey-type things, but I’m not about to pop out a baby and quit my job… AND I also want to do my art, shopping and metropolitan type things, but I’m not about to get divorced and move to the city. I just feel like I don’t fit into either of the lives that I’m stuck between.So now I’m rambling on my blog about something that is the hardest thing to explain… who I am. And I might not be able to classify myself into a standard social mold, or be the same person from one day to the next, but I know that at least I’m not alone. I’m not the only one with a million goals, a job, a husband, friends, a home and only 24 hours in the day.
This past summer I really found myself again… as cliché as that sounds. I hacked off my hair, dyed it pink, got tattooed, started being true to myself and not putting on the good-girl “walk all over me” persona that I used at my job for the prior four years. I was happier than I had been in a very long time, but people looked at me like I was a freak (and not just because of the pink hair). It was more like I wasn’t behaving in the way that a wife should behave. I heard, “What does your husband think of this?” about 100 times with each change that I made. And each time that I answered with, “He’s thrilled that I am finally myself again,” I either received a response of understanding or disgust. Luckily, it was more understanding than anything else, but I was still given the side-eye about the changes for a long time.
I can honestly say that what other people think doesn’t bother me in the least, but every now and then I step back and think, “Am I really the ONLY wife who is like this?” and “Why can’t I do all the different things that I want to do?” Yes, I love being married, having a home in the country and doing the homemaker thing, but why can’t I do that while being a left-of-center artsy type? I can fold fancy napkins and turn out crafts just like Martha Stewart, but I can also get tattooed, hop into my MINI and race around with the boys… and no, my husband doesn’t have a problem with that either, thank you very much. What I can’t do though, as stupid as it sounds, is exactly what I want to do… everything!!
So to all the “different” girls out there: Rock on. And to all of girls who fit into the groups I mentioned, you rock too… just to a beat that is different from my own. No one’s lifestyle is right/wrong or better/worse than the other. Actually, I guess we’re all “different” girls when you look at it that way…
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